I actually do have shit to say, but this is easier.
Today's "Words/Phrases I hate" is a little less obvious:
Never have regrets
First of all, I recognize that there is value to this statement. There are ways to use this phrase and have it be a very worthwhile admonition.
HOWEVER! Most of the time (like, the vast majority of the time) I find that people who say this aren't actually motivated by their ostensible reverence for the inevitability and value of experience; they're motivated by a thinly veiled dread of accountability and introspection. It's far easier to say that you have no regrets than it is to actually go through the work of a penetrating self-analysis.
So I guess I'm saying that if the person in question actually has taken the time to really understand what that phrase means, then it can be a very powerful statement.
But usually it's crap. :)
Penetrating self-analysis be damned, what if someone who's emerged from living their subsistence with constant regrets, and perpetually attempting to right those via trial and error and more experience, reaches this conclusion? I've spent most of my relationships harboring regrets for things which have transpired, but I reached a moment of Satori, and in that, acceptance. For most people, I can see how they can gloss over their experiences and shrug them off with the HAVE NO REGRETS, ZOMG! mantra, however for me, it's rather different. I also think you comprehend this, too, since I read from where this post originated. YAY MAILING LISTS.
ReplyDeleteDo you still want to talk on the phone?
I would say that someone who has spent all that time dwelling on regrets has definitely, if not accurately, performed a penetrating self-analysis!
ReplyDeleteAnd you did not reach a state of Satori! :P
A zillion Buddhists would be offended, except they don't go in for that kind of shit.
But I get the point, and it's something to be proud of. Except Buddhists don't go in for that kind of shit either. HA! COLON-CLOSING-PARENTHESIS!