Hope?

So I missed a day, sue me. I'm still writing a hell of a lot more than I traditionally have, even if I missed my "every day" mark.

I can haz awesome new therapist! Not only do I feel better simply having some forward movement in my life, but I'm so impressed by my counselor. She's very insightful, incisive, and she really seems to understand me when I'm trying to put very complex feelings into words. Those are the most important things, but for some reason a couple of relatively minor incidents were what really shored up my estimation of her: I mentioned something about feeling lost in my head, which seems at times to be hopelessly labyrinthine including the occasional minotaur. She asked if I knew who Ariadne was (I didn't, though I knew the story), and told me that she was who helped Theseus escape the labyrinth by providing him with the string he used to find his way out - I asked if that was her, in this metaphor :) We talked more along those lines, but I was super impressed by her being able to reference Greek mythology off-the-cuff. Then later on when I was trying to explain a certain feeling, I wanted to reference an early Sandman story; I asked her if she was familiar with those graphic novels, and I was so happy when she said she was a fan. I realize that these are comparatively unimportant in terms of whether or not she's a good therapist, but it made me feel much more understood. Plus I love the fact that she's familiar with such eclectic subjects.

Oh, and I was incredibly impressed by Regina Spektor. I was totally converted to a fan - she is extremely talented, intelligent, and I love her phrasing and diction. She reminds me a bit of a young Tori Amos, and a bit of Kate Bush. Both of those are big compliments.

Almost missed day 2...

I have to admit that if I wasn't supposed to post once per day for this whole NaBloPoMo thing, there's no way I would be writing this. To wit: I have not too much interesting to say. Well, that isn't entirely true, but I don't know that I'm in a big sharing mood.
I'm at the Regina SPEK-TOR show. I totally think her name sounds like a Transformer, which is one of the main things I like about her, actually.
On a marginally more dour note, I got an email from my mom this morning saying that the son of one of her close friends committed suicide. She said that she dreads getting that phone call about me - that the combination of being so far away from me and knowing that I've been depressed for so long leads to a scary place for her. It made me feel terrible, to some degree because I know that has been a possibility for me a number of times in the past, and I know how devastating it would be for her. All the more so because my siblings are such fuck-ups :P

NaBloPoMo

My friend invited me to NaBloPoMo, with the stipulation that I write a blog post everyday for a month, and I've already missed Nov. 1st! HA! Stick it to the man! Or something.

Short list:

I got a new counselor, and she's awesome, and it's super-weird being back in therapy, and I'm so glad to be there. She agreed to a reduced fee from $90 to $50 per session; $200/month is still a big extra expense, but it's something I really need.

My roommate has a new boyfriend, and so I have spent a grand total of an hour or two with her over the last week, at least. I hold my tongue, as best I can. I had been comparing it to a relationship I once had, since it's practically a mirror-image, but they do seem much happier at this point then I was at the same point with that girl. I think they've been dating about five weeks, so if they make it one more it'll be longer than mine lasted. I did find it incredibly amusing when I realized that her boyfriend drives the same kind of car that my ex did at the time.

I have another month or so on my current work contract, so if I can't turn this into a permanent gig I'm gonna have to look into finding new work. I've been with Amazon for a cumulative period of about a year, now, so I'd prefer to stay here.

Speaking of which, I'm at work right now, so I should go!

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