Catharsis, necessitated by jackassery

We hired three additional temps in my department to take care of some specific large volume tasks. One of the two guys is sorta ok, neither here nor there. The girl is also fine, not someone I'd be good friends with, but we get along. The other guy is a pretentious conceited jackass douche bag. With a Napoleon complex. They all sit together, and I get to hear their conversation all day long. It's come to the point that I grit my teeth every time this guy starts to talk.

In order to prevent myself from freaking out, I've decided to spend my first break of the day relating some of this morning's conversation.

Talking about biking:

• Douchey guy: "I rode all the way from Fremont to Redmond one day. That's like 28 miles."
• Other guy: "I've only ridden that far once, down to Kent"
• Douchey guy: "That's not bad, but my ride had a lot more hills."
• Girl: "It wouldn't do much good for me to ride my bike to work - well actually I don't have a bike,"
• Douchey guy, cutting in: "Yeah, I guess it wouldn't do much good then!"
• Girl: "Yeah, but even if I did, it's all steep downhill from where I live to work, and I'd have to walk my bike home, since there's no way I could ride up the James Street hill from here"
• Douchey guy: "You know, there's this other neat invention for going up hills, called a 'bus'"
• Girl: "Yeah, I guess that's true"
• Douchey guy: "When I was in Sweden they had this cool system that you could hook your leg into and it would drag you up the hill"
• Girl: "Did you yodel while you were doing it?"
• Douchey guy: "I don't know why I would. You do know that yodeling is from Switzerland, not Sweden or Norway, right? You do know that those places are actually really far away from each other, right?"
• Girl: "True; actually my family is mostly from Sweden"
• Douchey guy: "If you were from Sweden, you know that you'd be really offended if someone said something about people yodeling in your country, right?"

My personal favorite came while they were discussing which fast food places are from which parts of the country.

• Other guy: "There are a bunch of Popeye's Chicken places in Tacoma, but the nearest one to here is in Renton."
• Douchey guy, jumping in: "No. It's closed down."
• Other guy: "Actually I was there on Tuesday"
• Douchey guy: "Oh. Well you know there's so many in Tacoma because there's so many of something else in Tacoma too, right?"
• Other guy: "Huh?"
• Douchey guy: "You know why there's so many Popeye's in Tacoma?"
• Other guy, innocently: "Because people there like their fried chicken?"
• Douchey, racist guy: "Yes they do..."

I was sorely tempted to ask him if there were many watermelon stands in Tacoma.

Ok, I guess I feel a little better now...